I had a bad dream last night. I was trying to figure out the chords to moondance along with the 13ths and sharp 5ths. In my dream I kept repeating the chords over and over again till I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. I kept getting up, breathing hard going back to sleep and the dream keeps on playing like a crazy loop on auto repeat. I kept waking up and falling asleep and I'd still be stuck in the same dream. Gaz told me it was the birth of a genius, practicing while you sleep but it's more savant than anything else. The obsessiveness, the compulsion to do one thing and get it right above anything else. I'd rather be a little slow and enjoy the whole journey of practicing.
Today, I made the first step in getting my theory thing done. I got some basic workbooks from the first 4 grades. It makes for good practice and I managed to finish bout 5 chapters on the train. I've always been a firm believer in getting the basics right and down to pat before moving on.
I was having an interesting conversation on learning with Gazpachos. When you start learning something, (the piano, tennis, chess, whatever) its always easy in the beginning. There is what I see as a steep rise or curve which brings a certain sense of achievement and satisfaction to the student. However, the crucial part is the plateau. That is where many people give up and either feel its too boring, or they're not going anywhere or whatever when it is at this very point that you should be pushing the most. Knowing something and knowing something in depth...Big Difference. Who cares if you've been playing an instrument for 3 or 15 years if you only can play 1 song.
Progress matters. Its a human thing. We were built to continually learn, improve and better ourselves. I started the piano early in life but only took it seriously in 2004. Its a constant embarassment to see way younger kids being able to play better but I remind myself that it's all about bettering myself, the competition WITH myself. The Human spirit to grow, evolve, amazes me. My piano teacher once told me of one of his students who started taking lessons in her late 60's. Arthiritis and all, she would never miss a lesson.
I am 32 this year. Yes I have a diploma in Jazz performance... but honestly, I don't think I'm that good. My sightreading is quite rubbish, my chordwork is far from being at the back of my hands and my improvisational ability is shite. But, I am persistent and one day all that will change. That is my prized possesion. Even rocks break against the gentle flow of the stream, and mountains move for the one who has purpose in life.
Monday 27 July 2009
Wednesday 22 July 2009
Secret Eyes
Secret eyes
reading this letter
by the waxing of the moon
Like a witch's coven party
I want to dance
Scream
Laugh with you
5 billion to 1.
reading this letter
by the waxing of the moon
Like a witch's coven party
I want to dance
Scream
Laugh with you
5 billion to 1.
I can feel it coming.
This wave of having too many things to achieve is starting to overwhelm me maybe I should shut up and just start doing
Saturday 18 July 2009
Do ya?
Do you remember the time,
when you said one mean thing to one person ,
and didnt get a chance to verify yourself after that?
Of course you don't,
it was one thing and it could'nt have lasted eh?
Wrong.
You're not a bad person.
I am, for thinking that thought.
when you said one mean thing to one person ,
and didnt get a chance to verify yourself after that?
Of course you don't,
it was one thing and it could'nt have lasted eh?
Wrong.
You're not a bad person.
I am, for thinking that thought.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: Wrong.
The one who said that absence makes the heart grow fonder obviously didn't think he was going to die tommorow. We all do in the end.
2 nights ago I sat in bed sleepless, sweating profusely soaking up my pillows. I don't know whether it was the fever or the incessant rambling thoughts in my head. I couldn't breathe easy and my seretide inhaler was empty. Its easy for ashmatics to think about death I think. Its such a direct connection, breathing and life. I was scared I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared about death and thinking about it. I lay awake and watched her sleeping. I tried to clear my head by taking deep breaths and the answer I got was that when you think you're gonna die, you love more. Why not me? Why not you? Jesus Christ, Beethoven, Gandhi, Mother theresa, all dead. That is where you're headed too.
I love you I love you I love you. My old friends, my love, my family.... call them. We put off things because we forget that we are gonna die. We create divisions among ourselves, society and whatever because we forget that someday we will lay in the ground and be food for worms. I share something in common with all you human beings. We will all die. So love. Fuck I'm scared of dying. THat doesn't mean I go all hippie and do shit. I dont need to "love thy neighbour" cuz honestly he smells funny but I do need to love people I know... We let thoughts ramble in our head like some mindless machine that we lose control because we forget that all this is not going to last forever. We are all busy with our lives but not busy with our purpose in life which is to bring love to whoever we meet. We criticize others, ourselves but forget that the relationship between the entire human race and mother earth is exactly like the billions of cells working together in your own body. We fight, we kill but No ONe...NO ONE has the right to kill when they have not the power to bring someone back from the dead. We forget, we forget that one person is both unique but part of a whole at the same time. No divisions. We eat the same, we shit the same, we feel love anger fear anxiety and mind fuck ourselves with shit and ego. The ego is shit. It is not confidence. It is like a whiny child in need of attention. Give it none for the ego thinks it lives forever.
Now is the only time there is.
2 nights ago I sat in bed sleepless, sweating profusely soaking up my pillows. I don't know whether it was the fever or the incessant rambling thoughts in my head. I couldn't breathe easy and my seretide inhaler was empty. Its easy for ashmatics to think about death I think. Its such a direct connection, breathing and life. I was scared I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared about death and thinking about it. I lay awake and watched her sleeping. I tried to clear my head by taking deep breaths and the answer I got was that when you think you're gonna die, you love more. Why not me? Why not you? Jesus Christ, Beethoven, Gandhi, Mother theresa, all dead. That is where you're headed too.
I love you I love you I love you. My old friends, my love, my family.... call them. We put off things because we forget that we are gonna die. We create divisions among ourselves, society and whatever because we forget that someday we will lay in the ground and be food for worms. I share something in common with all you human beings. We will all die. So love. Fuck I'm scared of dying. THat doesn't mean I go all hippie and do shit. I dont need to "love thy neighbour" cuz honestly he smells funny but I do need to love people I know... We let thoughts ramble in our head like some mindless machine that we lose control because we forget that all this is not going to last forever. We are all busy with our lives but not busy with our purpose in life which is to bring love to whoever we meet. We criticize others, ourselves but forget that the relationship between the entire human race and mother earth is exactly like the billions of cells working together in your own body. We fight, we kill but No ONe...NO ONE has the right to kill when they have not the power to bring someone back from the dead. We forget, we forget that one person is both unique but part of a whole at the same time. No divisions. We eat the same, we shit the same, we feel love anger fear anxiety and mind fuck ourselves with shit and ego. The ego is shit. It is not confidence. It is like a whiny child in need of attention. Give it none for the ego thinks it lives forever.
Now is the only time there is.
updates
I havent been writing in a while. Maybe I've just been overwhelmed with my stuff to do. Back when I was in the army there was a poster in camp that I remember till today. There was a picture of a duck or a swan and the caption read;
" Above water look cool and collected, under water paddle like crazy!"
I did pretty good for my jazz dip exams. At least I got that over with so I can now focus on other aspects of my playing. There is more sightreading practice, theory work, learning of all sorts of repertoire, structures, chords and these sort of things cant be learnt in a day. Gotta do more, gotta do more I guess.
I recently had a gig with J last month at the esplanade. Real nice live feel outdoors. Good fun too. I think we sounded great. I'm just waiting to hear the audio. At least this time round I didnt need to puke my guts out before a show. Butterflies in the stomach? Mine's like monsters in the attic. I hope to do more gigs like that. And for those who came that day...thanks a buncH! :)
I also did some recording work on Kel's stuff. Based on his usual speed I think that will probably come out sometime this year. For the first time, I got to record with the whole jin gang of them. Jeremy, kelvin and Justin. Its fully improvised and quite exciting cuz while you're doing the recording, you don't know what's gonna happen. I remember going thru half the song before figuring out that it was in the key of E! Apart from the usual recordings that I have done with KeL, this new batch of em features my new baby, my mm6. Its a Screamer!
Ever since I bought this keyboard it has been very busy. It, not me. It has done gigs at the esplanade, did auditions for my dad's band, did recording work, jamming with the school band and writing some of my originals.
This is quite unrelated but I just gave my cats some nip before this post. Sippy is so cute when he's high. Which reminds me, I've got a friend who reminds me of sippy or vice versa.
Yesterday, me, oaks, kelly and Menon went for lil trip to arab street/haji lane. It was part of this thing where me and oaks thought it'd be cool to take our lil friend from abroad somewhere different everytime he comes down to sg. We started by first walking along that stretch with blu jazz near it. Yes, I'm a horrible tour guide. It was packed so we decided to cruise a bit for a while. We found the museum for little children. Very classic stuff. old toys, things. Entry is $2. For the life of me I do not remember how to get there. I think its near the mosque. Ended up on the same street where we started. There is this Fab coffee joint called coffee nations. I had a cafe royale which kicks ass cuz its black coffee with brandy. The drinks are great, nice cosy atmosphere, there's even boggle to play and the best part....NO GST. Its not net cuz there is still 10% service charge but the prices are damn good. Puk you starbucks.
Tommorow...cycling. We are islanders(for a $19 yearly membership)
" Above water look cool and collected, under water paddle like crazy!"
I did pretty good for my jazz dip exams. At least I got that over with so I can now focus on other aspects of my playing. There is more sightreading practice, theory work, learning of all sorts of repertoire, structures, chords and these sort of things cant be learnt in a day. Gotta do more, gotta do more I guess.
I recently had a gig with J last month at the esplanade. Real nice live feel outdoors. Good fun too. I think we sounded great. I'm just waiting to hear the audio. At least this time round I didnt need to puke my guts out before a show. Butterflies in the stomach? Mine's like monsters in the attic. I hope to do more gigs like that. And for those who came that day...thanks a buncH! :)
I also did some recording work on Kel's stuff. Based on his usual speed I think that will probably come out sometime this year. For the first time, I got to record with the whole jin gang of them. Jeremy, kelvin and Justin. Its fully improvised and quite exciting cuz while you're doing the recording, you don't know what's gonna happen. I remember going thru half the song before figuring out that it was in the key of E! Apart from the usual recordings that I have done with KeL, this new batch of em features my new baby, my mm6. Its a Screamer!
Ever since I bought this keyboard it has been very busy. It, not me. It has done gigs at the esplanade, did auditions for my dad's band, did recording work, jamming with the school band and writing some of my originals.
This is quite unrelated but I just gave my cats some nip before this post. Sippy is so cute when he's high. Which reminds me, I've got a friend who reminds me of sippy or vice versa.
Yesterday, me, oaks, kelly and Menon went for lil trip to arab street/haji lane. It was part of this thing where me and oaks thought it'd be cool to take our lil friend from abroad somewhere different everytime he comes down to sg. We started by first walking along that stretch with blu jazz near it. Yes, I'm a horrible tour guide. It was packed so we decided to cruise a bit for a while. We found the museum for little children. Very classic stuff. old toys, things. Entry is $2. For the life of me I do not remember how to get there. I think its near the mosque. Ended up on the same street where we started. There is this Fab coffee joint called coffee nations. I had a cafe royale which kicks ass cuz its black coffee with brandy. The drinks are great, nice cosy atmosphere, there's even boggle to play and the best part....NO GST. Its not net cuz there is still 10% service charge but the prices are damn good. Puk you starbucks.
Tommorow...cycling. We are islanders(for a $19 yearly membership)
Mannerisms....Or
Menon-isms.
If we believe in the wisdom of the ancients, the greats, like socrates, confucius, plato and Benny hill, we cannot deny these wise words.
"Brown sugar IS sugar"
"This is a nice Marbley floor"
"I am.....nothing"
On dating,
"Race, religion doesnt matter as long as I get to go out with a girl"
On being friendly,
" I don't want to be that longface cb f$%$%$. I want to be in with the group that makes fun of the longface cb f$%$%$"
Lemon pledge is good for the maintenence of wallets. Let us all meditate on that thought for a while.........................
If we believe in the wisdom of the ancients, the greats, like socrates, confucius, plato and Benny hill, we cannot deny these wise words.
"Brown sugar IS sugar"
"This is a nice Marbley floor"
"I am.....nothing"
On dating,
"Race, religion doesnt matter as long as I get to go out with a girl"
On being friendly,
" I don't want to be that longface cb f$%$%$. I want to be in with the group that makes fun of the longface cb f$%$%$"
Lemon pledge is good for the maintenence of wallets. Let us all meditate on that thought for a while.........................
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