The best time to quit.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. "
-Steve Jobs.

I'm feeling bloody exasperated today. The kids I was teaching today really drove me up the wall. I am quite patient...I think. Things like these always gets me thinking. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I always feel like I'm a crappy teacher when I feel I don't get across to the kids. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously. Kids( and adults alike) will have their off days right? I don't know. A cigarette and planet telex gets me feeling better. I have some time on my own before I meet up with oaks for dinner. I love moments like these when I can just dream. At borders, I contemplate buying the best of Franz Liszt cd. I browse through some of his transcriptions which are ridiculously hard. I would sure like to pick up any book and play it just like that. Maybe I can compose some jingles? Maybe one day I'll have my own show. Maybe one day I'll teach in Sota. Maybe one day I can be a concert pianist playing my repertoire of bach and liszt.
In this quick info/communications world, maybe kids nowadays won't have the patience to sit and practice the piano for say 20mins a day. Or read. Or learn how to paint, or build something out of lego. These things take time. Learning how to kick a soccer ball takes time; and repetition. Doing something over and over again. Maybe kids nowadays don't get that and the world will be full of people in the future who will want Instant gratification in whatever they do. Why save? Lets get it now and pay by credit and installments. Maybe I"M JUST GENERALIZING. I hope I'm wrong. Back in the old days, the phrase, "sow now and reap later" meant more to people then. If I were to plant lets say an apple tree, I wouldn't expect to reap the fruits of my labour the next day right? It's the same thing with any other skill. You work at it, bit by bit, constantly, and then you see results maybe a few months down the road, or maybe a year or 2 or 3 OR more. I wanna do so many things in my life but I do realize that I have to connect the dots forward without fear. Who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow. The best I can do is to constantly do my best. Today. Not try...but Do. So after I get sick of all the screaming kids, worried that my sightreading will never be good enough, longing for the cat people to be a success, hoping for a job offer at some major institution, I realize that the best time to quit is only after I've succeeded. I'm gonna take it one day at a time....

My thoughts.

Article.22/6/08. page 30.
I can relate to this. Sometimes I think I may be still pretending. Wanting to do this and that instead of directing all my energy into finishing the only work that matters to me. Learning the piano and playing well. I must get back to point zero. All I ever wanted was to play music. and the piano. and learn more stuff. and write my own songs. I feel refreshed again after reading this article. Refreshed like a few days ago when oaks was at her friend's birthday party and I wandered town on my own. Solitude. is good for you. Moments of it. Radiohead is good for you. Watching the last 20 mins of the hydrolunatics at bedok reservoir is good for you. Moscato and the company of friends are good for you.

Preoccupied with Life.

Most times we occupy ourselves with god knows what. We all have jobs to do but I've been particularly a major ass when it comes to meet ups. There are people I would like to see based on the fact that they still care you know? So go ahead DeL... Give them a call.

The scent of things

The last time I popped into the hilton to use the loo, I noticed a nice grand piano and the performance days and times of the musicians. So I made a date with oaks yesterday to go and check out some of their music. It's an open lounge, smack in between the entrance and the buffet area. We ordered some drinks. They gave us some complimentary fried wanton skins with spinach dip. Whatever happened to bloody normal peanuts?

The music made me sick. I think I use my nose too much but it actually smelt like overbearingly sweet perfume. It was a duo, a pianist and a singer. She sang well but she was overshadowed by the floral arrangements of the pianist who was having a field day with modulations and key changes between and DURING songs like it was fucking just invented yesterday and he just discovered it. I was reminded of karaoke joints and bad singers who tweak the key changing knob during the song.

I get so pissed off when I watch insensitive musicians. If you'll take a trip down to crazy elephant at clark quay you'll know what I mean. Musicians wanking off endless solos like it was the best thing in the world and the singer usually does this awkward head nodding body swaying thing like yeah, I'm digging it but hurry up and get over it. Since when did showy technique become the pre requisite for becoming a musician? They stopped listening to each other and that to me is the most important thing in music.

When I was growing up, most of the live music that I was exposed to was my dad's. He'd play in hotels and I'll listen a bit and then run all over the hotel with my step brother. My dad was in this flamenco latin mariachi crew called Los Santos. Actually, he was Los Santos. They were actually very good and very entertaining and I'm comparing that to the state of live music now. If there is one thing that I respect my dad for, it would have been his class and professionalism when he was performing. He always looked liked he owned the stage, and he kept that off set during his hours at work.

That compared to the sinny girl lookalike yesterday with the clothes and the butterfly on her breast trying to browse the papers while she was singing a song.