This Ginger Cat.

The day buddy came over, I was cleaning house. (I think that's his name. My wife gave him that but I'm still finding it hard to roll it offa my tongue)

The storeroom was in a big mess and I was determined to get my Army stuff out to prepare for my upcoming reservist. We were clearing stuff out and determined to throw a chunk of things away. We gathered a pile of stuff to throw, things that you only look at once and put back in the storeroom, things that you think would be nice to keep but really has no use anyway.

I was going thru my personal box of things. I am not usually sentimental with my belongings and I am quick to give up my stuff to make way for the possible new. Things like cards however, (birthday, christmas, wedding, wedding invites) must keep. There were weird things in the box like old gaffer tapes, padlocks, a french conversation cassette tape. Throw. Discman!....Keep. 

Then I found my old notebooks and letters. I flipped through it and an old wave of freaking nostalgia hit me. My thoughts, my hopes, penned in times of desperation and need. Goals I had. 1995-2004. Letters from an ex sprayed with perfume (eternity)and signed off with a william blake poem. A cheeky letter from an ex lover. My old writings of longing...if I could call them poetry but it was probably the ramblings of a young perpetually love sick guy. I threw them all out. To make space. Within and without.

I packed it all in a black trash bag. We gathered our throwaways and brought it downstairs to the assigned "dumping area". I remember feeling a a little sad that I was throwing stuff out but reassuring myself that its ok. You always wanna keep the old things for memories. Like its gonna matter when you're dead and gone. I am just a small drop in this ocean. Nobody cares and I am fine with that. I am fine with that. Will people congregate during your funeral to read your penned thoughts and think about you? Most probably not unless you're famous. I think people will remember you for what you've done and that might be the most important thing. I think. 

There is a cat in the dumping area. He looks frozen from fear and is comically trying to hide behind a piece of paper with some food on it. 

Hello Buddy.