When things come to a standstill.

I have not been able to do anything work related these few days. I'm not in the mood to think about music right now. The only music that gives me some consolation right now is listening to John Coltrane's Love supreme album. Funerals are emotionally manageable up to a point when you see relatives cry. That's when you break down and feel a little empty inside. Then the mind shuts down.

....

My grandma passed away today. That's all I have to say bout that now.

Its all Good.

Things are looking good for me this year and I'm thankful for that. Some updates, new students coming along from the 11 year old who loves the beatles to the 50 plus year old chap who studied classical guitar most of his life and now wants to learn the piano. There's a new cat in the house although me and oaks are not too sure yet cuz he's still on probation. His name, if he's confirmed as part of the family will be Digby chicken Caesar. Go watch The Mitchell and Webb look if you don't already know. I have finally managed to get this little music project of mine going. And I think I've found the right person in Ghaz. My musick for the cat people is still on hold. Not sure why but I know that it feels its not time yet. Johnston did great on drums with Jeremy's Albatross project jam and I'm hoping to see him for more jams and gigs to come. Can't wait for the next sunday jam with the fellas from cp music. My exams are projected to be in April. I'm not exam ready yet but I'm working on something bigger which will encompass that fact, which is to be musically ready to face whatever challenges are ahead. No point passing a Jazz Dip exam, when you can't just jump on stage during a performance and do a totally improvised show. Had a family gathering recently and I'm hoping to post some pix up on fb some my mom can see it.

The Here and Now of things.

I'm at peace with my self.
I don't use wet wipes anymore.
The feeling of stickiness on my hands
don't bother me anymore.(Except when I play the piano)
I look at photos of old girlfriends and old friends and smile.
I'm happy that they are happy.
The thought of my old band
doesn't make me cringe so much anymore.
The feelings of anger turned to indifference and then nothingness.
I'm free from labels which allows me to act creatively whenever I need it.
I'm nobody, not from this religion or that,
not from this school of thought or your organization.
I am part of the whole
that feels more inclined to acceptance and getting on with my life.
Can you imagine a single cell in the body that refuses accept things?
Now imagine billions....That is the state of the world we live in.
I am not a slave to my mind anymore.
I use it when I want.
The mad man talking to himself on the street
and the incessant mental dialogue in your head are one and the same.
I have lost my identity bit by bit
which allows me to create naturally
without thinking maybe "DeL" should do this or that.
I am here, now....And that is all that matters.

Wtf?

This is a true funny story that might brighten up your day. Yesterday, me and oaks went to watch my brother perform at quality hotel.(that's near balestier) In true fashion, I ordered 2 whiskey drys for me and oaks. The waitress, (let's just call her hotpants cuz she was wearing hotpants) looked confused. She came closer to me and she asked, "You want ice with that?". So I said yeah, sure, just get me 2 whiskey drys. Then she says, "Ok, 2 whiskeys with dry ice." Now that got me confused cuz what the fuck right, who the hell orders anything with dry ice so I had to go and order the drinks myself at the bar just to find out that they didn't have any Ginger ale. I ordered the first thing I saw which was on offer.(Very typical of us indians eh) A jug of beer with FREE chicken wings. But WAIT...THAT IS NOT THE PUNCHLINE YET!........................................................................





Feeling alright with myself I proceeded to sit down to enjoy the rest of the performance. Oaky suddenly looks up and waves to some people behind me. I turn around and WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Its my dad, mom and uncle! They just arrived and we walked towards their table to do the usual civilised hello and all that. My dad jokingly asked oaks whether she wanted a red wine and me a drink and I told my dad that I already ordered a beer. He probably thought I was joking, I was thinking of cancelling the drinks, but at that very MOMENT, hotpants brings our jug of beer at our table not too far away Now, in times like these there is really nothing much to say so yeah me and oaks just sat at our table drinking and doing the cordial smiles across the table while Reno sniggers during the whole 2 sets of my parents being there...............
If anything can be more exciting than that please let me know.



Moral of the story, Parents can pop up anywhere!
Plus.... when you're 30, you do whatever you want la....

If you don't look good naked....

...what you wear won't matter. I'm talking bout music performance here. Music in its stripped down form. Bob Dylan, Jewel, Franz Liszt, Jason Mraz, Damien Rice, Alfred Brendel and others are musicians who can just pick up their instrument and perform. No band backing, no band in a box, no distracting synthesizer sounds coming from the keyboard. There's a certain purity when a musician performs solo, or acoustically. Its the soul for all to see. I remember watching damien rice in concert and it was beautiful... even when he forgot his lyrics and the audience started singing along. And if you've heard Keith Jarret's Koln concert, its not an exaggeration to say that the music actually makes you feel like flying. Its so simple and yet, I haven't got the nerve to try it yet.

The older I get the less I know.

The sillier I get. The less I know. I'm weaving and bopping thru this life like a half baked jazz musician at blue note. There is nothing to think about. There is only this note, this walk, this step. Babysteps. There is only this key this stroke this move. I watch the cats as they honour God and life by doing what comes to them naturally without thinking whether this or that is wrong or right. The birds fly and sing and that is all that they know how to do. All that they need to do. This is all that you need to do. Take the next step.